Coffee and memories

As I sit here on a beautiful EARLY Saturday morning, cuddling my niece, I had a reverse flashback and hope and pray I am making her proud.
Grandma always seemed to have a cup of cold coffee sitting somewhere in the living room, but never complained about it being cold “I like it that way” she would say.. I doubt that was true but that she had grown accustomed to it always being cold by the time she got to drink it. One of the smells that reminds me of her is cold coffee.. I guess today, by chance, I made my coffee like hers, and yes, it’s cold already.. I get up early many mornings because I keep my niece while her mom works.. {I don’t mind because she is a sweetheart, she is family, and she has a special place in my heart (always will) anyway back to today} I think I mentioned it because I wonder how often she got up early and rolled her eyes because we woke her and wanted breakfast, I wonder how often she leaned in and kissed our cheek with her coffee breath thinking I just want to finish my coffee so my eyelids will stay open. I know it’s hard to imagine her ever thinking that because we never saw that and she never mentioned it, but as a mom and caregiver I think it, but don’t show it, and wonder what went through her mind as she cuddles us with love and patience as I do my niece..
I guess I am writing this here because it’s a Saturday and I smell like coffee and my grandma and want the other mommas and grandmas smelling like coffee, with a cold cup sitting somewhere getting all the cuddles from their little ones thinking how much you wish you were in bed.. do you really? Would you really rather be in bed instead of getting cuddles? “They’re only little once” so soak it in.. they don’t care that you smell like coffee.. one day they will too!

 

(Written in July 2019 and lost without having published… )

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